Well after a month it's back to the drawing board.

[madscijr]

Eagles and buzzards - oh my! I only recently became the target of such a "dive bombing", but it must have been a little bird, they left just a drop or two on my arm and the sleeve of my shirt, easily cleaned. Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go! 

Our neighbors told a story of taking the entire family rafting on an old inflatable mattress (it worked, too) in the fall when all the geese are flying south, and finding themselves in a veritable hailstorm of goose-poops! So, hold onto that air mattress, but you may want to avoid the waterways in October!

Interesting about the backwards TP, I thought they only did that on boats! We had a kitty that discovered the joys of unrolling the Charmin, but that was years ago, and all our cats since seem more occupied by other things!

[Pete]

Ahh wise ones...the toilet paper debacle has been solved many years ago when a domestic engineer applied their logical technology to the problem:




In fig 1 when the cat applies a downward force to the TP, it imparts energy into it, placing it into motion. Since gravity still exists, the TP moves down toward the ground. Since all cats hate people it keeps imparting energy into the TP until the roll is empty and the human is angry - this is known as symmetry.

In fig 2 when the cat applies a downward force to the TP, the energy is still imparted to the roll as before, but since the TP is on the opposite side, a quantum shift happens.  Since the cat is very aware of Schroedinger's cat, it knows that it can be dead soon so it stops trying to unroll the universe and goes away.

Simple...

I never had this problem, until I took your suggestion and switched the rolls out as per your diagram. Today the hall bath had the entire roll unwound on the floor. That's when I realized my cat's dyslexic!

Pete

[Kernelpanic]

It's interesting to see how one are work off on toilet paper here. Siggi Freud would have been delighted.