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This time I really thought I had something worth pouring all of my time into, ah, but in the end things just didn't work out. So as some of you might have noticed, I've recently been deeply obsessed with AI, so I got ambitious and developed the world's first AI toilet paper. Everything was going along splendidly until the project reached a singularity meaning as soon as it became sentient, my AI toilet paper wouldn't take crap from anybody! Oh well, at least those little inventions have a sense of humor, rolls on the floor laughing... presumably at me. Next time I'm just going golfing!
So I'm hoping to dig up something to code in the next week or so but Steve has me worried. I read a post of his in the Constitution thread about not having freedom to code... like say if your cat pisses on your keyboard. That worried me because I have a cat. So I started thinking of a way I could dry out a keyboard that met which such an unfortunate fate. Aha, just use cat litter! The only foreseeable problem with this Nobel Prize winning revelation is that if I keep the cat, I'm going to have to change the litter on my keyboard daily.
Pete
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It's probably better this way. If you did figure out how to make an AI toilet paper that would take your crap, it would probably hallucinate (lie) and start saying you're clean when you aren't. Nice way to ruin a good pair of boots IMO.
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Believe it or not, I did see some article the other day about an AI toilet paper. It apparently has some type of sensor involved in the roll that determines the pressure applied to the roll. This way it can sense if it's a person who grabs it with several fingers or if it's a cat's paw that's on it and trying to roll it. It's supposed to cat-proof toilet paper and not unravel if you have a cat in the house who likes to play with the roll!
There's also another AI toilet paper which has microsensors built into the weaves of each sheet and which will automatically flush your commode after it's dropped into the bowl. This means you never have to actually touch the nasty lever and push the flusher yourself!
And then there's another AI toilet paper which is smarter than some people I know (like Pete), which can actually tell you Steve is just full of shit and not to believe him...
 
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AI toilet paper gives a whole new twist to the saying "You have your head up your ASCII."
Oh, and I just heard some program on NPR debating the merits of ChatGPT used in writing church sermons. Good deal for megachurches, was the argument. Improves scalability.
Don't know why this sounded relevant.
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Just remember guys, when you visit Steve, bring your own roll. Steve is so cheap he only buys my discount 32-bit rolls. Everyone knows the 64-bit sheets are essential for that good clean feeling.
Pete
- Golfers use course language.
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To prevent the house tiger from getting too close to the keyboard, place a sliced onion next to it. The house tiger will only still try to get to the keyboard once or twice, then never again, and you won't need the onion anymore.
The toilet paper problem isn't so easy to solve, but one should never give up hope.
![[Image: Katzen8.jpg]](https://i.ibb.co/RTVc8XMy/Katzen8.jpg)
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(05-13-2025, 02:16 AM)SMcNeill Wrote: Believe it or not, I did see some article the other day about an AI toilet paper. It apparently has some type of sensor involved in the roll that determines the pressure applied to the roll. This way it can sense if it's a person who grabs it with several fingers or if it's a cat's paw that's on it and trying to roll it. It's supposed to cat-proof toilet paper and not unravel if you have a cat in the house who likes to play with the roll! Ah yes, better living through technology!
I expect it'll work about as well as those automatic toilets that sense when it's time to flush, and they flush when you first sit down and splash you, but then once you've done your business they don't ever flush again, no matter how much you wave your hands in front of them... and behind them, to the right, to the left, etc. etc. So the thing ends up with your "business" and all the toilet paper mom told you to flush a little at a time so you don't clog the plumbing. Oh well, leave it for the next guy! I'm beginning to think either there are hidden cameras somewhere and you'll wind up on America's funniest home videos, or else these things are so smart they have a sense of humor... or operate on union hours!
It's the same deal with the "intelligent" trash bins in the airport that never open when you need them, or the motion-activated sinks that don't open the tap, or the paper towel dispensers that give you one tiny sheet and then wait 60 seconds before the next one, while people line up behind you. Maybe these things are secret intelligence tests that the government uses to find their next Einstein!
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True story: Wish I'd had some AI toilet paper with me 15 or so years ago when I was riding to a bike rally in Oklahoma for antique shovelhead Harleys. Westbound on I-40 near Nashville, an eagle came swooping out of the trees, QB64Phoenix-like, from the far side of the highway, flew over me and crapped. Completely blacked out the left lens of my riding glasses and smeared the left side of my head. I'm sure he did it on purpose, "Take that, you scooter trash!"
DO: LOOP: DO: LOOP
sha_na_na_na_na_na_na_na_na_na:
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Sounds like the day a pack of buzzards settled in the tree above my poor car. I started with a white car, by the time they all flew off, I only had a poop car to look at. And the smell.... GAH!!
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Ahh wise ones...the toilet paper debacle has been solved many years ago when a domestic engineer applied their logical technology to the problem:
![[Image: 192t4syatklp8jpg.jpg]](https://www.thecrafties.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/192t4syatklp8jpg.jpg)
In fig 1 when the cat applies a downward force to the TP, it imparts energy into it, placing it into motion. Since gravity still exists, the TP moves down toward the ground. Since all cats hate people it keeps imparting energy into the TP until the roll is empty and the human is angry - this is known as symmetry.
In fig 2 when the cat applies a downward force to the TP, the energy is still imparted to the roll as before, but since the TP is on the opposite side, a quantum shift happens. Since the cat is very aware of Schroedinger's cat, it knows that it can be dead soon so it stops trying to unroll the universe and goes away.
Simple...
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