Joke Programs

[eoredson]

Joke Program#1:

Code: (Select All)

w = 10 * 2 * 2: h = 4
Screen _NewImage(w, h)
_ControlChr Off
Locate 2, 1, 1
For x = 1 To 9
  _Delay 1
  Color 14, 1
  Locate 2, 1
  Print "Progessbar:"; Str$(x * 10); "%";
  Color 15, 1
  Locate 3, 1
  For y = 1 To x
      Print Chr$(254); " ";
  Next
Next
While InKey$ = "": Wend
System

Joke Program#2:

Code: (Select All)

' declare admin access library.
Declare Dynamic Library "Shell32"
   Sub ShellExecute Alias "ShellExecuteA" (ByVal hwnd As _Offset, lpOperation As String, lpFile As String, lpParameters As String, ByVal lpDirectory As _Offset, ByVal nShowCmd As Long)
End Declare
Call ShellExecute(0, "runas" + Chr$(0), Command$(0) + Chr$(0), Command$ + Chr$(0), 0, 5)
While Inkey$="":Wend
End

[Pete]

Or how nice it is to have Alt + F4 handy to close the current program window in Windows systems for joke #2. (Windows being the real joke #1).

Pete

[hsiangch_ong]

joke program #1.  trying to give a damn.

that was actually an animated meme.  inside someone's signature.  in another forum i belonged to many years ago.

also the animated cockroach.  telling someone to use "format" ms-dos command to get rid of it.

on linux.  how about faking the screen output of "dd" command.  or "ps -ely".  or something like that.

if you have better jokes.  better to reserve them for next year, fourth month.

[eoredson]

In the early '80s there was a joke program for the IBM PC that made your floppy drive gurgle but delivered a virus..

And the infamous "Arf! Arf! Gotcha!" which delivered a virus..

But I have never used my programming skills to write a virus but might be easy to attach one to a .com file?

Erik.

[mstasak]

I remember back in the days of Windows 3.1, a program that just showed a simple messagebox with an OK button ("Click OK to exit", or some such)... But when you tried to click OK, the button moved away from the mouse cursor.

[eoredson]

More Jokes:

Don't delete the file Boot.ini from the root of C: in Windows XP.

Don't type this at the DOS command:
   Del . < Y

Don't put the shortcut to Shutdown.exe in your Start Menu..

btw: don't accuse me for any data loss. Thanks, Erik.